


Enough

by seventhtimes



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 13:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15365961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventhtimes/pseuds/seventhtimes
Summary: Translation in english from french.Just a OS. I don't know if there gonna be a next part to it, maybe.Nick is about to explode.





	Enough

Wanting to escape from Gilead so bad was something Nick would never have thought about. He had been there from the beginning, had participated in its construction in a certain way, and even if his life did not suit him, he would not have thought that he would want to quite so much one day. He would never have thought of loving either. Become a father even less. It had never been his intention, he was -before Gilead- rather the kind who was looking after his complicated family and having one-night stands.  
He would never have thought that this regime would be so horrible, he would never have thought he wanted to kill these people so much. But she had arrived, so cliche, she had insinuated herself into every part of his body, every fucking cell. And now he was ready to try anything, to give up everything to get her out of there.

 

The announcement of June's pregnancy had been the turning point, he could not let his child grow up here, they would have far too much trouble to stay there, looking their baby raised by some twisted people. Then arrived the moment when his daughter was born. He basically, almost had rushed to the doors of the ambulance, he had ignored Eden, to join his beloved one.. and Serena broke their moment, taking possession what were theirs. Eden had finally understood, she was not stupid but so young, and blinded by love that she had been killed. Isaac and her. Two kids who were about fifteen years old, they had been drowned because of their love .. Damn ! They. Were. Kids. He could not accept, to concede to see his daughter grow up here, to be married one day by force, to be abused despite the status of Commander's child. Fred had made June see Hannah, and he had seen, felt, the pain June was wearing. She found and lost her daughter right away, to lose the second a few hours later .. Nick, had been taken by the eyes and God know how he had finally managed to escape. His eye status and ability to cover the shit of Waterford had saved his ass. But how many more times should he use resources to enable them to survive safely? How would he do when June will be sent back to the red center again, and he would be alone, watching over his daughter, only a small baby that he barely had the time to see ? She was only a few days old and he didn't had the opportunity to hold his baby against his chest, just once, for a second. What scent does she smell? And Serena who called her Nichole. Was it deliberate? He could not stand anymore. Fred who had him hang the picture, where his daughter, damn, was, as if it were theirs. Fred who had June to be close to their daughter and taking away her right to be her mother .. And finally the death of Eden. He was going crazy. He had to do something. He left when June tried to approach him, but how could he accept her comfort when he felt so guilty?

 

Nick take a look at his watch. 3:07. There was no light, and if he trusted the recent schedules of the members of the house, no one was in Holly's room. What should he do? How would he explain his presence in his room, or around? He went out, lightened a cigarette, inhaled the first whiff of nicotine, and put his forearms on the guardrail. His veins began to come out along his stroke and his hands flickered. The whiff he took were way too long, but he did not care, he had to calm down, and keep his shit together. He had to find a solution, he had to act. He threw away his cigarette, returned and washed his hands. The features of his daughter face appeared to his mind vaguely. She was so beautiful, and he had not even been able to contemplate her as long as he wanted. "She looks like her father" Fuck you Lydia, fuck you. He took a breath, he had time he could go. Yeah is gonna go see her. And there, several questions assaulted him. He had just been smoking, and if she started to cry because of his scent ? What if she was crying? He had heard her crying tirelessly, unable to take her. And if for once she slept well and he came to disturb her sleep ? He shook his head. He did not take a jacket and stayed with his black shirt, three buttons removed, _fuck off._

 

He checked not to see any light. Everything seemed calm. He went down the stairs. Slowly, quietly. Penetrated in the kitchen. Still nothing, he whispered, listened. He was a poor spy for a spy. Anyway, except for his beating heart, he could not hear anything. In front of the open door, his throbbing to the maximum he observed the small form asleep. He advanced a few steps, and he saw his little chest rise slowly. Her arms were on either side of her head, her tiny closed fists and her face turned. He took a few more steps to finally get his hands on the edge of the cradle. Slightly he reached up to caress Holly's hand. Nick passed his index finger between her tiny fingers and immediately she squeezed. The softness of her skin impressed him. He rarely had the opportunity to see children, so touching a baby .. his .. And all the horrors of the day came back to his mind. Assaulting him. He fell on his knees, head down, his right hand still on his daughter, the other hanging on the edge, and only a tear rolled down his cheek. He ran his left hand over his face and got up. He did not have a lot of time with her, so as gently as possible, he passed his left hand under Holly's head, checked that she was not moving, passed his right arm in the lower back and brought her closer to him. On his chest. He exhaled emotionally. How could he have done something so perfect? She smelled so soft. She seemed so small, so sweet, he stared at her face and she opened her eyes. Two little blue eyes staring at him calmly. He put his index finger on his cheek, he did not dare to speak. He just couldn't.

 

And further, hidden behind the door, a person watched them.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I've made this because this because I totally imagined Nick do something like that. Like snicking arround her and go into her room, so pissed off and then afraid, and then being a bit emotional.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment !
> 
> (I'm saying it again, I'm french I'm translating, I have a good level in english but this is not perfect, so if there's any mistakes feel free to tell me and I'll correct it ! )


End file.
